Lockdown changed a lot for me. To be honest it helped me become more creative, work towards things I left hanging, changed how I look at stuff. I've even started to hate Instagram. All I ever used to do there was obsess over my likes or followers and then go back to wishing I had more likes. I would look at other people's posts and stories and wish I could just switch lives with them. Even just for a day. Although now something has changed. I hate going online at all. I hate responding to all those toxic people in my DMS. I stopped trying to talk to all those friends I had who would not even bother to reply to my messages. It finally went into my brain that having 300+ likes or 1000 followers won't get me anywhere in life. I've started to read, learn more, and change my opinions on various things. To just be happy with how I am.
I hate it when people shower me with fake compliments, it's surprising as those fake compliments used to mean the world to me. People stating lies about me and saying stuff that wasn't me at all somehow made me happy. I really don't need fake compliments and what's the point talking to people like who constantly express their love towards me with all their fake compliments? What's the point of surrounding myself with people who can't see me, who cant like me for who I am?
After what seems like years of hating myself I have finally excepted me. I started giving myself the love I used to freely hand out to others and couldn't be any happier.