I Tried not to Make a Sound

All the while growing up I've taken things seriously, over analysing, overthinking every tiny little detail, people have constantly told me "stop overthinking", "not everything's about you" and of course I believed them. Of course, I hated myself more and more each day for no reason at all, I hated myself for being too sensitive just because they told me so. and of course, people, especially people who I thought would always be there for me took advantage of that. They started slipping in those lies and hints, those Instagram stories, going places without me and when I asked them about it obviously all they say is stop overthinking and they say such stupid lies that don't even add up. They make me hate myself and go crazy. am I overthinking? am I not good enough? what changed? cause a month ago we were inseparable. always the odd on out, doesn't know the people they talk about or even the inside jokes, don't pick up my calls cause they have too much "work", don't care enough about me to ask me if I want to join in on their tik toks, always left out. I've been through some pretty dark shit before and I came out stronger than ever, and I learnt how to love myself, it was hard, super hard some days it was so dark all I could do was sit in my bed and cry, trying not to make a sound or sitting in the bathroom wiping my tears cause if anyone saw me crying they would say stop overthinking, but these people were there for me. They helped me get over everything, and now they're the reason I'm going back there and this time I'm going there alone. I love them so much, no matter what and all I want to know is why am I not good enough for you to love me back? don't make anyone feel bad ever, that’s the worst thing you can do to someone, laugh behind their backs and smile towards their face, I beg you to never be fake, it can be the cause of someone's misery.