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Most of the problems teens like us face are problems relating to Judgement, social pressure, our image. While these are important problems, I faced a different problem as a teen; the struggles of dealing with a loss.
Death. it is an impending doom, something we all try to escape, but inevitably, it gets us all in the end. Interestingly, your death wouldn't pain you nearly as much as it would hurt others. You move on, but your loved ones are forced to live in a world where you are a mere memory, a name on a gravestone. The death of your loved ones hurt you. For example, the passing of a friend of mine caused me a great deal of pain.
When you first hear the news, you feel numb. No sadness, no movie like wailing and sobbing. All your senses are dialled down, and you can't really think. You just sit there while it hits you.
Your next instinct will be to get away from all the people around you, whether you run to your room or down the streets of your city. You just wanna be alone. You stop and start to think about them. All the memories, all the emotions, all you guys did together. That's when you start to cry quietly, and you feel the hole in your stomach when it hits you; they're gone. forever.
You want everyone to leave you alone, but they don't. It's infuriating. but they're doing it for your good, even if you don't realise it at the time. As days pass by, you tell everyone you're okay; and eventually, they believe you. You know you're not, but telling everyone that you are helps you convince yourself that you are in fact okay.
People tell you that you need to move on fast. I find that to be bullshit. You've suffered an immense loss; what or how you chose to cope with it is up to YOU. The process is always painfully difficult, but remember; the night is always darkest before the dawn.
I guess what I'm trying to say is life goes on. You've experienced a lot of pain, but at the end of the day, you do have to move on. Remember them, keep them in your heart and live your life. After all, if you were to ask them if they wanted you to move on; they'd say yes.
I got through it; I believe you can too.