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Picking Up My Pieces

They're not lying when they say that at the end of the day, all you have is yourself. I’ve met so many people of all sorts. I’d be a fool not to accept that these people, whether I thought them to be good or bad, shaped who I am today. I’ve been hurt, I’ve been loved and at the end of the day, I have loved. Yes, it seems naive: what does a teenager know about “love”? And to that, I say: I know as much about love as an adult who’s felt it. Okay so before I come to the story of my heartbreak, let me talk to you about why this particular heartbreak shattered me like no other. 2019 was the lowest point in my life. All my thoughts seemed to be about ending it. All of it. I could see my academics lowering (well, by my standards, at least) and even worse, it affected my friendships. From being a social butterfly with the biggest wingspan, I became nothing but a shadow. Moving countries, negative thoughts about myself, problems at home were all factors but at the end of the day, it was I who was to blame. The few friends that I had managed to make, I pushed away. I repelled happiness. Eventually, my closest friends gave up trying to help me and watched helplessly as I distanced myself. A lot of things happened during this time that I’d rather not delve into but let’s just say that it was a lot. But then, I met him. I was actually happy for the first time in 2 years. But things happened and due to some circumstances that are hard to explain, I had to stop seeing him. I hit a new low. It was like I touched the moon and then fell back to earth, no parachute involved. My friends tried being there for me but I, again, pushed them all away. When I realized that he wasn’t coming back, all I had left was myself. And I picked up my pieces one by one. I’m still gluing them all together and I’m not even sure I’ll ever be able to be whole again but I’m trying. Not a lot of people see but I’m trying.

Written by - anonymous

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